“I’m gonna…”

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My whole life has been “I’m gonna”. “I’m gonna be a great artist, I’m gonna be a great animator” and recently “I’m gonna be a writer”. But I’ve lacked the follow through. The actual work involved to be all these things I thought I should be. I thought that all these wonderful things would just happen to me, and now I’m disappointed that they haven’t.

Like everyone else, I just want to be good at something. I figured my “true calling” would be reveled in something I tried and was great at from the first stroke. I don’t know about you, but nothing like that has appeared in my life.

But is it too late? I’m not in my 20’s anymore. I have physical limitations that weren’t there before, things that are detrimental to a visual career. That’s why I’m interested in writing.

I’ve always loved to write.

Lately, I’ve been writing letters to friends and family in long hand through regular “snail mail”. I know it’s fun to get a letter from someone, and it’s fun for me to write them, so it’s a win win. The content is usually whatever pops into my head (kind of like this). I don’t edit while I’m writing, I just let it flow from the pen. Of course, the spelling is atrocious (I knew how to spell that!).

I also keep a journal, of course, which I write in everyday, often twice a day – once in the morning and once before bed. The content is the same as my letters – just whatever comes into my mind at the moment.

Finally, I have several “100 Letters” projects completed. A letter almost everyday to a family member. But these letters don’t get sent. The point is to have something to give to Charlotte when she gets older that shows my relationships with my family members – her family members. I want to leave these letters as little treasures for her to find.

So, I’ve already started on the road of creating the right habits to become a writer. Now all I have to do is walk that road with purpose and intent if I want to get from ‘I’m gonna’ to ‘I am’.

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