Yesterday

It was yesterday. It was always yesterday. Nothing ever changed. No matter how many days came between them, it was always yesterday that everything happened. Eternally yesterday.

He slid his hand over his face, trying to wipe away the sleep. His hand came across the coarseness of his chin. “I should shave,” he thought. A knee jerk reaction to a totally innocent gesture. But there was no need to shave, was there? Not anymore.

He stared at the ceiling wondering how long he could stay in bed. He wanted to count the ceiling tiles and then fall back asleep but thought better of it. He had his fill of nightmares last night and needed to create new memories to block out the old.

He sat up and looked around the sparse room, as he did every time he woke, looking over all the ancillary objects with an experienced eye. Yes, a crack in the vase, and there – streaks on the window glass. These flaws were telltale signs that he was back in the real world, outside of the dream one in which he seemed to spend most of his time. It was in the useless, random details that he found solace. The silly, extemporaneous details that the computer would always leave out. They communicated a sense of firmness, of being grounded, in the present and in control, outside of any other world or time in which they wanted him to be.

He walked slowly to the bathroom to begin his waking ritual. He still took a shower whenever he could. His body might not be real, but he enjoyed the feeling of showering. It was like meditation before the day. It made him feel almost human again.

There was no need for food, so there was no breakfast. Sometimes he missed the smell of bacon in the morning so much he would start to drool – not a recommended activity according to the owners manual. No bacon, no coffee, no dry crusty toast. Hell, he’d even settle for moldy toast at this point but solid food was the trade off for the Kraftpack. He thought at the time that he wouldn’t miss eating. All the inconvenience of it, not to mention the waste elimination and then disposal. He felt sure that it was only one less thing to worry about. Besides, the Kraftpack provided him with a balanced nutritional intake throughout the day, along with regular inoculations and steroids to help fight off any errant infection. He was much healthier with the pack. But he still missed the bacon.

 

 

 

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